Green Hill Bone
by stillreadingsuperfudge
Summary: Even Sonic the Hedgehog has a few skeletons in his closet, he has his very own secrets that only he knows. Rated M for sexual themes and naughty language.


**I have no regrets. No sorrows. This is my creation and I am damn proud.**

Green Hill Bone

By stillreadingsuperfudge

The story of Sonic the Hedgehog is one that is long and detailed. Beautiful and rich stories filled with friendship, rivalry, and fearsome foes. Stories such as these are riddled throughout the world like ghosts, passed from media form to media form. Whether the story told through means of audio, visual, or word of mouth, each and every single one has its lost chapters, it's times like these that no one at all wants to be recorded. For the story of Sonic the Hedgehog it is the story of Green Hill Bone.

With a title like Green Hill Bone, one might assume that this is just another act that Sonic has run through, you know the kind. Alas, this is not what one should assume. This was no action stage, this was no cutscene, this took place in the Chao Garden. The name Green Hill Bone was actually in fact coined by, actually, you know what, we'll get to that soon enough. Enough meaningless words though, let us get to the real meat of this.

At this point in time, Sonic had defeated Eggman four or five times. He was of the age of fifteen years old, and he was just finished with the adventure in which he met Shadow the Hedgehog. Having been on such a big adventure, he had a hefty collection of animals and chaos cores on him that he wanted to feed to his Chao to make them big and strong.

He arrived in Chao World and went to the door directly in front of him, and the second his Soap brand shoes touched the bottom of the green hills he was immediately struck with a distinct curiosity.

"What happens if _I _eat one of these Chaos cores?" He silently asked himself.

With a cautious lift of his arm, he brought a red core to his mouth. His teeth hit it and it shattered into dozens of pieces of glass. He felt the chaos energy going into him, he felt stronger.

"Woah," He yelled aloud, his nineties attitude showing its colors "this is over the top! I better amp it up."

One by one, the cores entered his mouth, quenching his thirst for more power, speed, and swimming ability. He felt the spines of his back shifting into something different. Touching his back, he found that his spines were now wings.

"This is happening!" He screamed once more.

He looked up to view the garden area. There were so many colors ever where. The ground beneath him felt like a fresh bowl of jelly. That's right, Sonic the Hedgehog was higher than the Space Colony Ark itself. Sonic looked into the sky high above, and in that moment he could've sworn that he saw a Taco Bell. He shook his head, it was just another illusion.

"Somehow those Chaos Sphere must've done something my mind!" He yelled aloud to no one, stating the obvious to himself, as he enjoyed doing in that time.

Suddenly he saw something that made him almost do a double take with his own spit; Amy Rose sitting there, completely naked. It wasn't as it appeared for him, it was in fact his very own Chao, Jirard. Sonic walked over to Jirard with a crazy look in his emerald eyes.

"Aaaaaaamy!" He said.

Under any other circumstance he wouldn't find Amy Rose very attractive, but this time, right now, he did.

"Aaaaamy, come here!" He said, getting closer.

He grabbed Jirard, and jabbed him where his penis _should_ be. Then he realized he didn't have a penis, and Jirard had no holes to be found.

"How in the name of fuck does a Hedgehog reproduce!?" He yelled to the sky.

He spent the next hour or so completely baffled as to what to do.

"How do I shit!?" He screamed, "How do I piss!? I have nothing to live for."

Sonic walked to the edge of the garden and looked down. There was no floor in sight, if he jumped, he have it all over with. He backed up as far as he could, and began running towards the edge, breaking into a jump. He slammed face first into an invisible wall.

"God damn invisible walls wrecking my shit," He began ranting, still completely stoned off his ass at the wall of nothing, "I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the school of fast, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Doctor Eggman's base, and I have over 300 confirmed robot kills. I am trained in speed and I'm the top runner in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another homing target. I will wipe you the fuck out with speed the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with stopping my running? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Chao across the garden and your dumbass looks pretty prepared to taste the fucking thunder right now so you better prepare for the storm. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your invisible life. You're fucking dead, wall. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my feet. Not only am I extensively trained in running fast, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Chaos Emeralds and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the garden, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" blocking maneuvers was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have just never exsisted. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, invisible wall."

Then he remembered that he couldn't shit fury at all. He couldn't shit anything. He sat against the wall and began crying.

"You know Wall, I'm sorry about what I said." Sonic told the wall, "You know, you're kind of cute."

Sonic stroked the wall and giggled. Then it hit him, the realization of the century. The wall had no holes either. Sonic stood up, turned around and smiled creepily at the wall. He began humping the wall with the speed of a jaguar on steroids. It felt great; his face was filled with pure pleasure. He teared up at the joy of his victory. As he was about to ejaculate he realized that he had nothing to ejaculate. He looked straight at the wall and semen shot out of his mouth like a ball of white fire. It smacked the wall creating a loud clapping noise with a distinct _sploosh_.

Sonic smiled, he just lost his virginity to wall and was damn proud. Jirard walked over to Sonic, and hugged his leg. Sonic looked over a Jirard, who now appeared to be Samuel L. Jackson.

"Motherfucker, you just green hill boned that wall." Samuel said.

"I sure did, my friend." Sonic replied, giving him a light pat on head, making Samuel squeal a high pitched Chao noise. The image was and always will be disturbing.

Suddenly Sonic's eyes became fully dilated; all he could think of was the ground. He laid down on his front, not wanting to break his new wings, and fell asleep. Sonic woke up a few hours later; he stood up faster than a blur. His head was pounding, and so was his back. He felt back there, and noticed that he spines were back.

"Was it all a dream?" He asked

His eyes drifted over to the white puddle near the wall. It was not a dream. Sonic has just fucked the shit out of a wall.

"Oh." He said, then realized fully what had happened, "OH."

Sonic looked over at Jirard, who was blissfully asleep. His blue Chao body as normal looking as the day he first hatched. Sonic sighed in pure relief, getting stuck with Samuel L. Jackson as a pet didn't seem like an ideal situation.

Sonic left the Chao Garden that day, never to speak of this ever again. He took one more look at the wall, smiling one last smile at it, before leaving. He only came to the Chao garden a few more times after that, and starting around 2004 he has tended to avoid them completely. That's Sonic for you, always running ahead and never looking back. Especially not looking back to the time where he fucked that wall, that's a no-no.


End file.
